Camo Everything? Seriously?
I remember a time when the only people who wore camouflage were bow hunters and military snipers. But now camo seems to be everywhere on everything. Very confusing. So, I headed down to my local Cabela’s to do a little research. Check on the current state of camo affairs so to speak.
My first revelation was that camo clothing is now designed for the various geographies. Hunting the hardwood forests of New England? Yup, they’ve got a pattern for that. Hunting the Rockies with their stands of aspen and sage covered slopes? They’ve got a pattern so stealthy you can even tag your elk before you shoot it. What about waterfowl in the marshes? They have camo so good that ducks will practically land in your lap. As long as you don’t forget the camo coat for your lab.
Next up were different camo for different seasons. Hunting in the fall? Then how about fall foliage. Once the trees drop their leaves, try a late fall pattern. Snow on the ground and still haven’t filled your freezer? Then go with some winter white.
And each different pattern comes on a full range of clothing. All matching - coat, vest, pants, gators, gloves, hat, etc…etc…
If you chase multiple species, during different seasons in different states, you can amass a wardrobe that the Kardashians would envy. Camo as a fashion trend? You bet. How about the white, black and grey urban pattern? Favored by hip-hop artists everywhere.
If it keeps going like this, I predict that soon we’ll have patterns specifically designed for individual states. How about Montana Muted or North Carolina Normal. Maybe even Vermont Vegan - camo Birkenstocks anyone? You get the idea.
But where it really goes off the rails for me is accessories. Do we really need camouflaged coolers? Camo beer cozies? Camo rifle stocks? Camo long underwear? What are you trying to hide? Camo flashlights? I don’t know about you, but I like to be able to find my flashlight. Makes it easier to find my long underwear.
Clearly, we’re living in the age of specialization. Unlimited solutions to undiscovered problems, at least until someone educates us.
But where does it end? And what about other outdoor sports? Fishing? Camping? Backpacking?
I remember visiting a friend shortly after he opened his new fly shop. We were chatting as he unpacked a box of landing nets. I picked one up and gave it an admiring look. Bent ash frame with walnut insert, and a neatly knotted cotton net. Beautiful work. Then I looked at the price tag and almost fainted. My friend took the net from my hand and hung in on the wall with the tag dangling. When I questioned the price, he smiled and said, “Don’t forget, it’s not about catching fish, it’s about catching fisherman.”
Just sayin’.
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